one feeling that no one had ever feel
what i done or what i do that i think is correct but it different to my parent
every time they scold me i all the nagetif thinking run into my mind
that make me feel i'm useless,hopeless,inresponsible
this feeling ...just don't know how to say it
something very hard n pain in my heart
i wonder how other family live happy n have a warm home to stay
bt i don't every time went home the feeling start to come to me
what i don't like to do they sure force me to it
what i can't do and they want me to do well
i'm not like my brother
even my study i try my best to get my best result
but they saw it and say too bad and only thing in my mind is 'LAP SAP'
i really try my best but ...
they want me to get good result but i'm not that kind of person
i can't sit and study ..i'm not that kind of person
but they force me
what i have done during the past and happen now but not me doing it
they say take it out and say it agian
I'M JUST A USELESS SON IN YOUR EYE
NOTHING BUT JUST A RUBBISH...
RUBBISH!!!
Monday, March 30, 2009
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
~my result~
Today,30-12-2008.
This day was the day to take my PMR result..
when i reach school today i feel like so scare of it.
when i sit down in the hall my heardbeat was not as normal as normal day it goes faster than i thought
after PKKK speak soon i change my place to the front.
i start talking to my friends n laugh with them so that i don feel the pressure
after that i saw PKKK bring in some paper and that was the PMR result..
when i saw that i just feel even scare
after i take my result ...
DAMN SAD... :-(
i was so disapointed with my result
i got no 'A' ,5 'B' ,1 'C' and ONE 'D'
i hate to see 'D' in my result ..
and that 'D' was my chineses...
i am sure that the headmaster will sure find me when school reopen
i was damn sad and i saw my friends got atleast 1 'A'
i was going to cry that time but i just have to tahan
i give the result to my big brother to see
i knoe that he was also disapointed..
when i was on the car i just not feeling right just want to cry it out
but i can't do that.
later he ask me when did i wan to go i just told him i want to go home now
just thinking how am i going to tell my father about this
later my brother was not taking me to the jetty
he take my to a shop to take some desset
in the shop my brother just told me
'Don't be so disapointed. now you also can't change it and also it was over so don't think about that. workharder in next year. Aim for your SPM'
damn i hear this i feel more well but i still disapointed
after that he told me what i am wrong.
i'm so lazy and my attitue was terrible
while he was talking i just start to cry it out
after that he take me to jetty.
when i reach the mainland i just when in to my father's car
that time i was even sad n disapointed
my father also scold me awhile and take me to lunch
while on the car i was crying too..
later on we reach to the shop i find place to sit after that i am still thinking of my result
after eat i when home and start to clean my room
i feel so sorry for myself and also my family
now i have to set a target and start walk toward that target
and now i wan to cry it out but i can't
i knoe if i cry it out i will feel more comfortable
i think that why i can't cry it out is because the god want me to remenber this big mistake forever in my mind so that i can't do it again..
i'm so sorry ....
This day was the day to take my PMR result..
when i reach school today i feel like so scare of it.
when i sit down in the hall my heardbeat was not as normal as normal day it goes faster than i thought
after PKKK speak soon i change my place to the front.
i start talking to my friends n laugh with them so that i don feel the pressure
after that i saw PKKK bring in some paper and that was the PMR result..
when i saw that i just feel even scare
after i take my result ...
DAMN SAD... :-(
i was so disapointed with my result
i got no 'A' ,5 'B' ,1 'C' and ONE 'D'
i hate to see 'D' in my result ..
and that 'D' was my chineses...
i am sure that the headmaster will sure find me when school reopen
i was damn sad and i saw my friends got atleast 1 'A'
i was going to cry that time but i just have to tahan
i give the result to my big brother to see
i knoe that he was also disapointed..
when i was on the car i just not feeling right just want to cry it out
but i can't do that.
later he ask me when did i wan to go i just told him i want to go home now
just thinking how am i going to tell my father about this
later my brother was not taking me to the jetty
he take my to a shop to take some desset
in the shop my brother just told me
'Don't be so disapointed. now you also can't change it and also it was over so don't think about that. workharder in next year. Aim for your SPM'
damn i hear this i feel more well but i still disapointed
after that he told me what i am wrong.
i'm so lazy and my attitue was terrible
while he was talking i just start to cry it out
after that he take me to jetty.
when i reach the mainland i just when in to my father's car
that time i was even sad n disapointed
my father also scold me awhile and take me to lunch
while on the car i was crying too..
later on we reach to the shop i find place to sit after that i am still thinking of my result
after eat i when home and start to clean my room
i feel so sorry for myself and also my family
now i have to set a target and start walk toward that target
and now i wan to cry it out but i can't
i knoe if i cry it out i will feel more comfortable
i think that why i can't cry it out is because the god want me to remenber this big mistake forever in my mind so that i can't do it again..
i'm so sorry ....
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
my parent
about my parent~~
i not so like them so much
when i'm small till i form 2 i almost everyday got scold by them
damn!! i hate dis type of feeling
anything lost they will find me first
anything spoil also find me n scold
anything not right also find me n scold
when ever i want to go out with my friends they won't allow me
damn!! i'm big already i knoe how to take care myself n i also knoe which friends cannot mix too much
I'M BIG NOW
onli when i'm form 3 i just don't care them n go out with my friends
first time go out with my friends n that time we go bj
every time go out with my friends i also use my own money
not like other friends they may take money from thier parent
after i come back home my mother sure ask how much i spend on that day
when i need money from them,they will sure ask here and there
when they ask here and there i surely don't answer them
they don't even believe me also
from i was 11 years old i don't wan to talk to them anymore
every time go home i just talk not even 10 sentenses to them
maybe more when they ask me thing
i mostly no topic to talk to them
this is pevent me from scold
i may see my friends are so close to thier parent
why not me
i also want to have this type of life
i think that my parent will understand me
but i thinking was wrong....
they don't knoe what i want n what i need...
money is more important than me...
i just don't like to stay at home
when i change my mind to stay at home
and they don't want me to stay
when i don't want to stay
and they want me to stay
and the school that i hate the most
they will till send me there...
when i was on the computer game i don't like people to disturb me
not even my parent or friends
but they still keep disturbing me
like do gardening or wash car
so i mostly also simply do for them
my parent still in the past
still care so much for the money
i hope that one day my my parent will like my friends parent
understand me well
i not so like them so much
when i'm small till i form 2 i almost everyday got scold by them
damn!! i hate dis type of feeling
anything lost they will find me first
anything spoil also find me n scold
anything not right also find me n scold
when ever i want to go out with my friends they won't allow me
damn!! i'm big already i knoe how to take care myself n i also knoe which friends cannot mix too much
I'M BIG NOW
onli when i'm form 3 i just don't care them n go out with my friends
first time go out with my friends n that time we go bj
every time go out with my friends i also use my own money
not like other friends they may take money from thier parent
after i come back home my mother sure ask how much i spend on that day
when i need money from them,they will sure ask here and there
when they ask here and there i surely don't answer them
they don't even believe me also
from i was 11 years old i don't wan to talk to them anymore
every time go home i just talk not even 10 sentenses to them
maybe more when they ask me thing
i mostly no topic to talk to them
this is pevent me from scold
i may see my friends are so close to thier parent
why not me
i also want to have this type of life
i think that my parent will understand me
but i thinking was wrong....
they don't knoe what i want n what i need...
money is more important than me...
i just don't like to stay at home
when i change my mind to stay at home
and they don't want me to stay
when i don't want to stay
and they want me to stay
and the school that i hate the most
they will till send me there...
when i was on the computer game i don't like people to disturb me
not even my parent or friends
but they still keep disturbing me
like do gardening or wash car
so i mostly also simply do for them
my parent still in the past
still care so much for the money
i hope that one day my my parent will like my friends parent
understand me well
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